Asking for What You Want – Giving Yourself What You Want
Asking for what you want, even though it may feel bold or awkward, is a healthy step towards self-esteem. People don’t know what you want until you ask them. The act of asking is a validation of the awareness that you deserve to have what you want. If others are unable or unwilling to accommodate your request, give it to yourself.
I had a thought in my first marriage: “I wish he would buy me flowers.” So I’d drop hints ( I just LOVE daisies!). Finally, I bought HIM some flowers. He was tickled, “Wow! No one has ever bought me flowers before!” But, alas, still no flowers for me.
I Shouldn’t Have to ask for What I Want. It’s rude. It’s selfish. It sounds needy. But how would he know?
So I asked him for some flowers. I thought, “and if he does, wonderful, I get what I want, but if he doesn’t, I can turn it around”. You know, if I want the flowers, why don’t I give me flowers?
And then you may begin to understand that it’s something else you wanted – maybe it wasn’t just the flowers.But now you are being responsible for knowing what’s going on inside. And because you are listening to you, you begin to become your own best friend.
Isn’t that what you wanted?