Myth: You Shouldn’t Have to ask for What You Want

Asking for What You Want – Giving Yourself What You Want

Asking for what you want, even though it may feel bold or awkward, is a healthy step towards self-esteem.  People don’t know what you want until you ask them. The act of asking is a validation of the awareness that you deserve to have what you want. If others are unable or unwilling to accommodate your request, give it to yourself.

bouquet_of_daisies_on_white_background_1349072904I had a thought in my first marriage: “I wish he would buy me flowers.” So I’d drop hints ( I just LOVE daisies!). Finally, I bought HIM some flowers. He was tickled, “Wow! No one has ever bought me flowers before!” But, alas, still no flowers for me.

I Shouldn’t Have to ask for What I Want. It’s rude. It’s selfish. It sounds needy. But how would he know?

So I asked him for some flowers. I thought, “and if he does, wonderful, I get what I want, but if he doesn’t, I can turn it around”. You know, if I want the flowers, why don’t I give me flowers?

And then you may begin to understand that it’s something else you wanted – maybe it wasn’t just the flowers.But now you are being responsible for knowing what’s going on inside.  And because you are listening to you, you begin to become your own best friend.

Isn’t that what you wanted?

2 thoughts on “Myth: You Shouldn’t Have to ask for What You Want

  1. On a slightly different interpretation of this – I was unhappy at work because I felt there was no room for progression so I told my boss that if I didn’t feel I was progressing by the end of the year I was going to seek a different job. Long story short, they created a whole new rung on the ladder just for people in my position. Without me saying anything they wouldn’t have known so many people were unhappy.

    Liked by 2 people

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