How Get The Most From Your Life!

Dreaming Into The Life You Want Most

Will Give You The Most

 

discipline

What Do You Want In Your Life?

It might feel a bit uncomfortable to become “conscious”  of what you want the most from life, but Not knowing might land you somewhere else.

Dreaming Into The Life You Want Most Will Give You The Most!

The greater the clarity of your dreams, the more likely you’ll make choices along the way that honor your vision. The following instructions will help you get started.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Where do You want to see yourself in 6 month? … 2 years? … 5 years?  Try to visualize yourself in the future.

Imagine walking into your home five – ten years from now…

Imagine arriving at your home –  where is it located?  Is it a house, an apartment…?…

Walk in the front door. Who lives with you?…

Reflect on your day. What was it like?  If you work, take a moment to dream into it. Or were you doing something else?… were you with friends, family…?

What will you do in the evening? Again, just imagine the perfect situation.

2. What are the necessary qualities you will need to achieve this vision?

If, for example, you see yourself in 5 years with a different career, you may need schooling. If you see yourself as part of a couple, you may need to work on your interpersonal “issues”. If you see yourself as healthy, you may need to give up a bad habits. List a few of the qualities that will help you get there.

See it to become it!

How to Meditate – in 5 Minutes!

Meditation Apps To Calm Stress And Boost Mood

Worth Reading from Off the Web! By Natasha Baker

In a bad mood but not sure why? New smart phone apps provide short guided meditations designed to help you return to a positive state of mind.

Stop, Breathe & Think, a free iPhone app, prompts people to check how they are feeling mentally, emotionally and physically and will recommend three guided meditations between five and 10 minutes long.

“We wanted to give people a friendly and accessible tool to develop these skills – something they could easily integrate into their daily routine,” said Jamie Price, executive director of Tools for Peace, a California-based non-profit company that developed the app.

It aims to help people feel more grounded, calmer and happier, he added, and to recognize emotions and impulses and to react positively.

“The recommended meditations are meant to be a support, to help you deal with whatever is going on from the perspective of kindness and compassion, and with a greater sense of being positively connected,” Price said in an interview.

It includes 15-guided meditations based on Tibetan teachings. Users can track their progress including how long they have meditated and how settled they feel every day.

Canadian singer K.D. Lang, who serves on the group’s board, said she used the app as a reset button for stressful days.

“Our goal is that after using this app people learn how to become calm, and approach their everyday life from the perspective of kindness and compassion,” she said.

A similar free app called Headspace, which is available for iPhone and Android, also teaches meditation and provides a free ten-day program that leads users through short guided meditations.

It also features specialized meditations to improve sleep or reduce stress or other problems, as well as paid programs. Users can track their progress day-by-day in a dashboard and set reminders to keep on top of their practices.

Studies have shown the positive benefits of meditation, including research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association which found that it may be helpful for reducing anxiety and depression.

Buddhify This $5 app describes itself as “the urban meditation app for modern life,” and was named the number-one health app by UK news outlet The Sun. App Store reviewers rave about the app’s clear, simple design and relaxing guided meditations. Customize your meditation to your location: It offers tailored guides for when you’re at home, walking or at the gym.

Mindfulness Meditation By Mental Workout  This best-selling iPhone app by Mental Workout, designed by renowned meditation teacher and psychotherapist Stephan Bodian, provides guided meditations for both beginners and more experienced mindfulness practitioners. The app features an eight-week program, inspiration talks, body scans and relaxation instructions. According to one App Store reviewer, the app is the best way to learn mindfulness “short of finding your own personal meditation teacher.”

Simply Being  Short guided meditations, with or without music and nature sounds, for relaxation and presence are the focus of this $0.99 app. Perfect for beginners looking for something simple, Simply Being is highly rated for being user-friendly and customizable.

If you want to learn how to be “mindful” or to “meditate”, and you want it NOW, get the app GPS for the Soul or Insight Timer. I love them!

Article Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/21/meditation-apps-stress-positive-thinking-mood_n_4639232.html#slide=start

Changes Happen in a Spiral

Always going deeper…

PersonalGrowth

Personal growth doesn’t occur in a straight line; it happens in a spiral.

You will continually come back to things you thought you understood and see a deeper truth…

and we can never go back to exactly where we were in the past. It isn’t possible!

People will often tell me that their journals are repeats of the same stuff – year after year:

“Recently I happened to look at some journal entries from the year 2000. I was shocked to discover I am still whining and  complaining about basically the same stuff as 15 years ago! Different place, different time, but not much has changed. It really hit home for me!”  (anonymous)
•••••
 … but that isn’t really true. The topics may be similar: romance, our significant other, self-destructive patterns, feelings of loneliness, etc. Journal entries can look the same because most people write when they are struggling. TIP: Go back to your journal entries and, with another colored pen, write what you have learned since then. You may be amazed! :) .. because we grow, in spirals.

Uphill and down

Everything takes practice… practice, nd moe practice!

Monkey House

 

Tourist:  Excuse me, how do you get to Carnegie Hall?

New Yorker:  Practice.

                                                                 ~ Old joke

 

Recently I wrote here about power, which I defined as the ability take care of yourself, to listen to feelings and act in the service of your own needs.

One reader wrote, “Okay, power means detaching from others and practicing self-care.  I get that.  I want to do that.  But how?  Can you be more specific?”

Not really.  I don’t know your needs, or challenges, or what you want to change about yourself or your life.

But if you want to become powerful, there’s one thing you will need to learn:

How to practice.

You’re out for a walk and you…

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Praise Our Chosen Family!

From “On Being” with Krista Tippett

In Praise of Chosen Family

BY COURTNEY E. MARTIN (@COURTWRITES), WEEKLY COLUMNIST

Kate is one of the first friends that I feel like I actually chose. I’d see her walking around campus, her thick, dark hair curling up around her headphones, her head bobbing. She was a DJ at the college radio station. She was in my human rights class with the ancient and erudite Professor Juviler.

She sat with a group of girls in the cafeteria who exuded a bravado that I craved as I sat with my calorie-counting crew. I admired her from a safe distance for a while, suspicious that I was probably too earnest for her. Then, one day, with my adolescent esteem on some erratic upswing, I decided to email her. I told her that she was amazing and that I wanted to be her friend. Talk about earnest.

To my surprise, she wrote back. We started hanging out. Fifteen years later, we trade late-night pep talk texts when sleep evades our baby daughters, problem shoot long writing projects, and take sun-dappled walks around Lake Merritt to hash the world out side by side.

It seems like a good moment to pause in praise of our chosen family, otherwise known as our friends.

imageCredit: Ewan McDowall License: Flickr (CC BY-NC 2.0).

The holidays can be a wonderful, horrible time for many people. We are reminded — over gelatinous fruitcake, no less — that, though we love our families, we may not always like our families. We frequently don’t see eye to eye — a life-giving force if we have the wherewithal to explore it. They often can’t give us what we need, whether that’s praise or space or just the simplest of utterances: I’m proud of you, I see you, I love you.

This is the nature of growing up and growing away, of being someone who sheds some legacies while embracing others, of turning a critical, albeit compassionate, eye on our origins. As common as it is, it never gets any less complicated. In part, this is because it’s not something to be solved. Instead, it’s an eternal equation (subtract an expectation here, add a realization here).

As a result, a lot of us swig some pretty hard serenity with our eggnog this time of year. And, of course, the holidays can be an even more difficult time for those who don’t have the profound gift of a family to fight with. Which is why it’s such an outrageous blessing to have the opportunity to choose our friends. In fact, I believe it’s one of the most important skills we can cultivate in a child — the ability to know how to feel out who we want to be friends with and initiate and cultivate relationships. Here’s hoping you have more subtle skills than my own dorky emails.

imageCredit: Bas Rogers License: Flickr (CC BY-NC 2.0).

But “cool” is not really the point here. We spend so much of our lives trying to impress people we don’t actually respect — deliberately making friends with people that we deeply admire, people that make us laugh our asses off, people that push us to be more ourselves, is an under-appreciated and radical act in this culture of performance and reverence for the wrong gods (effortless perfection and exacting efficiency, to name a couple).

The idea that I could actually choose my friends came surprisingly late in life. As a girl growing up in a tight-knit community, I saw friends as inherited, almost like family: the girl on my lacrosse team, the boy who lived down the street, the son of my mom’s best friend.

Maybe, when we’re young, this is true. We don’t have the same kind of independence or capacity for initiation as we do later on. And many of these inherited friends are lovely, sometimes even the ones we would have chosen, had we had the chance. (For the luckiest among us, family members are actually the ones we would have chosen, too.)

imageCredit: Shira Bea Cawaling License: Flickr (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0).

At a certain point, at least among the happiest people I know, we start to get really intentional about who we surround ourselves with. We grow unsatisfied with inheritance, with the sense that our friends are “happening to us.” We realize that we have been neglecting one of our most thrilling powers. We stop hanging out with people that make us feel like shit, just because we had the same first job at that bizarre summer camp. We have passionate friend crushes that make life infinitely more interesting.

It is our families that shape us from the very beginning, but it is our friends that truly define us down the road. They are the ones we get to invite into our lives.

So now that the family circus is over for another season and you’re turning your attention to the beginning of a new year, consider this for a resolution: become a fierce talent scout of amazing friends. Make your crew your finest act of curatorial courage. Just as many wise spiritual teachers have argued that our thoughts beget our actions, I would argue that our friends beget our culture. They become the force we measure ourselves against, the source of so much of our joy and courage. They are our respite, and our welcomed responsibility. And all that choosing makes for a very rich life.

imageCredit: John Fraissinet License: Flickr (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0).

CONTRIBUTOR

COURTNEY E. MARTIN is an author, entrepreneur, and speaker.

Not taking thoughts seriously

mindfulness.CTB
It’s accepting the moment without clinging or rejecting, while calmly acknowledging  one’s feelings, thoughts, and body sensations.

Non-judgmentally means without believing that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment.

When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.

Mindfulness is nothing new. Buddhists’ consider it a form of meditation. Regardless of the name, it has countless benefits that you can experience almost immediately.

One of my favorites on the benefit-list is that it uses the right side of the brain  – an under-utilized healing center, especially for those of us from the Western World!

Try it now – Tune into your senses!

Self-love is an Inside Job.

What Self-Love Means:

20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself

By   from The Tiny Buddha
self-love
If one more person told me to go love myself I was going to levitate into the air and pull one of those impossible martial arts moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I was sick of it!
What the heck does loving myself mean? Were they talking about bubble baths, pedicures, and cucumber masks? It turns out there is so much more to self-love than just pampering ourselves.
I found this out the hard way.
 I did not have a big enough inner container to hold the love I so desired even if I received it, because my self-love tank had shrunk down to the size of a bottle cap.
This realization launched me into a relentless search for the meaning of self-love, internally and externally. I found that self-love is a not a destination, it’s a practice. It is like brushing our teeth. Self-love is a foundation on which we build a happy life. Without self-love, we have nowhere to put the love or abundance that comes to us.
Not sure what it looks like to love yourself? Here is what I’ve learned.
Self-love is…
1. Choosing ourselves, even if it means upsetting others and not being popular anymore. Even if it means we leave a party before anyone else because we feel tired, overwhelmed, or just plain feel done with the crowd.
2. Telling what is true for us, not swallowing words that express what we truly feel, think, or want to do.
3. Giving our body the nurturing, rest, exercise, and comfort it needs to the best of our ability.
4. Wearing clothes that make us feel good and fit our personality instead of wearing clothes that are in fashion that we use to impress others.
5. Building a life that we love while we are single instead of waiting for our prince/princess to show up to explore life and to be happy.
6. Accepting ourselves with the good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy, and the smelly—all of it—and appreciating ourselves as whole people.
7. Making time to do whatever we love, just to play, without worrying about wasting time.
8. Owning our inner and outer beauty and complimenting ourselves without feeling guilty, arrogant, or entitled.
9. Not rehashing our past mistakes and dragging ourselves to a dark place when we know that we can only learn from the past; we can’t change it.
10. Spending some quality, connected time with ourselves instead of always watching TV or wasting time on the Internet.
11. Using discretion when sharing our heart, self, and dreams with others.
12. Trusting the path that our soul is on and making a genuine effort to become a conscious co-creator of our destiny.
13. Not blaming our parents for our current issues, and looking for ways to heal our wounds and change our dysfunctional patterned behaviors by reaching out to ministers, therapists, coaches, and healers.
14. Following what our gut/intuition says instead of living out of our brain and ego.
15. Staying in our integrity, both when it comes to ourselves and when interacting with others out in the world. This includes keeping ourselves in check regarding patterns such as lying, manipulating, co-depending, withholding, and pretending.
16. Allowing ourselves to dream big, without contaminating these dreams with judgments, our perceived limitations, or a lack of sense of deserving.
17. Knowing how we’re spending our emotional, mental, financial, and physical energy, and whether these activities bring back joy, connection, nurturing, rest, and creativity to our lives.
18. Taking responsibility for all of our experiences. Knowing that we have the ability for deeper self-awareness and access to our intuition when it comes to making life choices.
19. Not labeling ourselves with others’ opinions of us, while having the courage to look inside to see if there might be some truth to them.
20. Learning to set boundaries that protect and nurture our relationships, with ourselves and others.
21. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes and not berating ourselves for making them. Instead, choosing to appreciate our desire to learn and grow.
22. Refusing to seek permission or approval to be ourselves. Recognizing that we, like everyone else, deserve to take up space on this planet just as who we are right now.
And lastly, self-love is:
23. Loving and accepting ourselves even when we fail miserably at some of these self-love goals.
No one else can offer these things to us. No one else can take our vitamins for us or prevent us from going into a self-loathing attack. Even if we land the best partner on the planet, this person won’t be able to make us happy and feel loved unless we create the space for it inside by practicing self-love. This is why self-love is an inside job.
From my heart to your heart…
By