All You Want to Know About Therapy

For Therapy to work, you must have a good connection…

and that’s why        

self-help books don’t work.

Our emotional lives, with all their emotional cues, are on board before any verbal or conceptual ability appears. And the consequences of these experiences are unaffected by intellectual efforts to change them.

That may be because emotions, and our most powerful “memories”, seem to be stored in the right hemisphere of the brain. And yet our thinking (or intellectualizingis a left-hemisphere activity.

Books and conversations about why we act the way we do are certainly helpful, but they don’t seem to be enough to effect real changes in our interactions with the world and ourselves.

So how can we make real changes?

Only by recreating as much as possible the initial conditions in which the processes were created in the first place.

We are born wired to seek connection with others. 

You may have heard that your first loves (parents) create the models for every relationship there after. They become our relationship-blueprints. Our experiences, especially with our caregivers, will become unconscious, intuitive memories that form the basis of our emotional life.

So if you want to change the deep, unconscious patterns that define your reactions to life’s events, you need an environment that can mirror those earliest connections, while, ideally, re-writing them (“neuroplasticity”). The result is a more harmonious existence in your current situations.

A powerful way to do this is through a positive connection with a trained professional (i.e., a psychotherapist). Good therapy aims to create a safe connection with the client so that emotional healing can take place.

And there is more to it, of course. Techniques that require direct experience have proven effective, such as working with the “inner child , mindfulness meditations, Journaling and others. I believe these techniques work because they access the right-brain.

When my client opens up to me as much as they can in a session, I know that we are accessing the right-brain. In doing so, the chances for authentic change become possible.

If you’d like to contact me, have a question, or want to chat, please click the link:

Work and contact info

call, 801-252-6754 (private voicemail, 24/7),

or Email me:  JaneLCSW@gmail.com

And Please Join Me :  Jane A. Weiss, LCSW on Facebook

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You Are AMAZING!

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“I questioned what I believed about you… and you transformed immediately. You are AMAZING!”

Remember when you were a child and every place and everything seemed magical? You could spend hours playing with toys and creating stories about their lives. In the wonderful world of our imaginations with no rules to define things, every place we went was somehow new to us. We’d live in wonder and awe of everything. Things like flowers, rocks, or coins absolutely enthralled us. And feelings just flowed. We’d fall, cry, get up and move on. We laugh and move on. There’s no dwelling, dwelling, dwelling.

And people were so fascinating! We were curious little beings – without a story of what things or people “mean”.To a child, life is completely uncomplicated. Their entire being is simply about the moment. They don’t hang on to conversations or worry about what so-and-so meant by that.

Then we became used to everything. We started to take people, places and things for granted and they appeared to lose their magic.

But what if?

As adults, we spend a great deal of time letting our brains determine our supposed “reality”. We project meaning on everything based on prior conclusions. But what if those prior conclusions aren’t true? Our brain is hastily moving along, “this is that… that is this…”. And it’s not personal – it’s what the brain is designed to do.

But have you asked? Is it true?

Here’s the thing – all we can know is what’s inside our heads. So everything – absolutely everything that we conclude is a projection. Some of those conclusions work just fine for us and others cause a great deal of unnecessary heartache.

•°•°•°•°•°•°

Lets say you meet a friend for lunch, and s/he is so loud, everyone is looking. S/he cries and blows her nose at the table.

“S/he makes me uncomfortable.”   Really? How can another person’s actions make you uncomfortable? Well, because people aren’t supposed to 1) be loud, 2) blow their nose at the table, 3) or cry in public. And now I’M uncomfortable because people aren’t supposed to 4) be with someone who does those things!  :)

Now imagine a 4-year-old at the table with the friend. I imagine the 4-year-old is curious, listening with every fiber of their little being, maybe even wanting to comfort the person who is clearly hurt.

Without my story, it makes sense that someone may be loud when they are so upset, and since crying makes your sinuses run, it may be a good idea to clear them out! This person before me transformed into someone AMAZING!

If we start to look at the world from new eyes, just like the eyes of a child we will find that the world really never lost its magic. It’s fascinating, unpredictable, and interesting! Without my story of “…same…same ol’…more of the same...”, I can become fascinated again!

 

Even Carl Jung Knows of the Inner Child!

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Learn more about the Inner Child :

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Those Familiar Issues…

Pain that seems Stuck on:”REPEAT”

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As you’ve gone through your life, have you noticed any familiar issues that just keep resurfacing? These are usually said to ourselves as a conclusion, after a disappointment.

Things like, “no one ever takes me seriously” or “damned if I do, damned if I don’t!” Recently my client said, “men always run away from me after a while”, and my good friend says, “I’m obviously not a priority to (them).” Of course you believe it – why else would it hurt so much?

If life keeps leading you to the same conclusions, then it’s about you, not them. What I mean is, you were probably wired/programmed to reach the same painful conclusion at a much younger age. Some people call this Inner Child wounds. Regardless of the name, we all have some of these earlier, mistaken decisions that unconsciously run our lives. Continue reading