When we think other people are hurting us, we have no power. We feel hopeless.
What if we thought of what was said or done as just being a mirror for us? – revealing to us what we are deeply thinking about ourselves?
Now we have our power back.
The Work of Byron Katie does just this – she calls it the “Turn-Around”
Einstein once said, “There is only one question worth asking: ‘Is the universe kind’.”
When you step into the grace of this wisdom, you can see nothing but kindness. But I’m getting a head of myself….
We have always been told not to be judgmental of others. Yet our minds are constantly assessing, and therefor, judging. We learned to keep these judgments private. These judgments turn into beliefs – stories – that run our emotional life.
Concepts are not a problem until you believe them. At that point, you are responsible for them. In the same way, by being aware of our responsibility for thoughts, we suddenly have responsibility for our power, our happiness, and our freedom.
For 1,000’s of years, we have innocently thought our suffering is caused by things outside of ourselves. So, it seems obvious to also look outside of ourselves for the solutions. Our mind runs these stories constantly, “he should/I need/ I want/...”
“The Work” invites us to find these deeper thoughts, put them on paper, and investigate how they’ve affected us. Thoughts arise. We can’t force these thoughts to stop. Once investigated, however, these thoughts may finally leave us.
It’s not that the mind is the enemy. On the contrary. The mind simply IS. By gentle, curious investigation, the same thoughts that we believed caused our misery can offer us peace.
It is only the unknown or denied parts of self that are in chaos. Feelings are a wonderful reminder to look at your thinking.
Byron Katie created the “Four Questions and the Turn Arounds” after years of extreme feelings and behaviors that were often unbearable… One day, when she was simply “despairing”, as usual, she listened to her minds constant chatter. Then she heard, “Is it TRUE?”, which stopped her dead in her tracks. From there, she developed a simple process with which to meet any disturbing thought. She called it – “The Work”.
Turn-arounds may be shocking! For example, “He should put me first” turns around to “I should put HIM first”… And why would I expect him to practice a concept I wouldn’t want to do? It also turns around to “I should put MYSELF first”… That’s my job!
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