We all need to learn to love and respect ourselves.

What does that mean? For starters it means to respect what you’re going through and have the courtesy to meet yourself with understanding.

When I learn to understand myself, I understand you, and out of that understanding comes love. If love is the missing factor, there is a lack of affection or warmth in relationships.

“Sit. Feast on your life.”

You may have heard the saying, “learning to love others begins with learning to love yourself“.

When you find an intriguing echo between seemingly disconnected aspects of your life experiences, you find a unity that begins to reveal who you really are.  If you look – with a kind, compassionate heart – you can’t help but love your story – yourself. And when you learn to love yourself, you learn to cultivate a more spacious, nonjudgmental mind. 

Ideas for Finding “Self”

1. Meditation is a sort of stopping. It’s being present in the now, and doesn’t necessarily “take time”.

Practicing mindfulness is actually living your life as if it really mattered from moment to moment. The real practice is life itself. Paying attention to your senses (such as hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting), puts you in touch with a whole different dimension than thinking.

But as soon as we put those sensations into words, however, we move from being present to thinking. That’s okay. You can flow back and forth. The feeling is hard to describe, but you will sense the difference. Write about your experience.

2. Relationship Energy – Notice that you are either moving towards or moving away – in your relationships.

This can be a moment by moment thing. Practice paying attention to each movement – away? Or towards? i.e., when I think about (something negative about you) , I am moving my energy away from you.

 3. Peaceful, Reflective State of Mind

Being in a reflective state of mind helps you keep in check what kinds of feelings you’re having. With emotions:  identify, process, and release. i.e., I’m feeling nervous (identify), because this situation reminds me of when I was picked on in junior high.. but I am NOT in junior high (process), and I can handle this (release).

4, Write Your Story

Write your story as if it’s a novel, 3rd person. Write it so your “reader” can understand the character (you!). Make it understandable.. universal. i.e., “When Jane was 4, her mother sent her to live with her “dad” – a person she had no memory of at all. It was like her mother was throwing her away…”

Take the time to acknowlege who you are!

 

More Posts

• A Therapist’s Thoughts : opinions, thoughts, imaginings
• Mindfulness – articles and techniques
• Quotables
• Therapy Topics – All about Psychotherapy
• TidBits – Therapy self-help
• Worth Reading: Off the web