5 Ways To Transform ANGER Into Something Beautiful!

Five Ways to Use Your Anger More Effectively

“And God said, “Love your enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself.”

~ Khalil Gibran

We all get angry from time to time. Even the most enlightened of us would be lying if they said they didn’t. Anger is often a natural response to horrific situations. For example: the on

ly moral response to innocent people getting bombed, whether by military action or terrorist action, is anger.

The question is this: is your anger controlling you (lizard brain), or are you controlling it (evolved mind)? Are you merely a puppet to the emotion of your anger, or are you able to turn the tables and become the puppeteer? Are you a victim of your emotions or a hero with emotional intelligence?

Most of us act the way we feel. But this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. We do have a choice. With enough discipline we can feel the way we act. For example: we can “feel” afraid but “act” courageously. Similarly, we can “feel” road rage but “act” calmly. With enough practice we can eventually feel the way we act, even in response to something as extreme as terrorism.

 Through such emotional alchemy, transforming anger into a higher emotion really is a choice. The key (as with the following five ways) is practice, discipline, and making emotional intelligence a habit. As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

1) Transform anger into strength

“In almost every bad situation, there is the possibility of a transformation

by which the undesirable may be changed into the desirable.” ~ Nyanaponika Thera

Anger can give you profound strength: in mind, body, and soul. It’s your responsibility to focus your anger enough to harness this strength. Focused anger becomes sacred anger. But this first requires honoring the anger for what it is, and for where it stems.

We too often suppress our anger, or avoid it, or pretend we’re not mad. But such suppression festers and all too often leads to a blowup farther down the road. In order to avoid such a blowup it behooves you to put your anger into focus. Put it under the microscope of your emotional intelligence. Analyze it. There is passion in anger. And where there is passion, there is love. And where there is love, there is strength.

So when it comes to anger, choose furious dancing over uncomfortable depression, or even comfortable suppression. Negotiate with your anger in order to transform the passion at its center into strength. Embrace it. Accept it. Wrestle with it, gently. Dance with the fire. Then waltz it into something worthwhile. If it burns you up, rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

Life is too short to live it second-guessing your passion. Be fierce. Dance furiously despite the anger that seeks to burn you. There’s almost always strength hidden there. Like Deepak Chopra said, “The secrets of alchemy exist to transform mortals from a state of suffering and ignorance to a state of enlightenment and bliss.”

2) Transform anger into exercise

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored

than to anything on which it is poured.” ~ Mark Twain

That passion at the center of anger can also be transformed into powerful energy: Qi, Prana, Pneuma, Mana. Use it in the park, in the arena, in the field of play. Twain said anger is an acid? So be it. Transform that acid into fuel. Use that fuel for the fire of becoming a better version of yourself. Use it in your kung fu. Use it in the gym. Use it playing sports. Burn it out of you so that it doesn’t burn you out. Whatever you do, don’t keep the acid of your anger bottled up. You are a sacred vessel and acid erodes even sacred vessels. Put it in your vessel’s fuel tank instead, and then burn baby burn! Spar with it. Shadow-box it out. Better yet – shadow-box with your inner shadow. Now that is some meta-catharsis, right there.

3) Transform anger into art

Again, the key to alchemizing anger, is harnessing the passion at its center. This most definitely applies to transforming anger into art. Anybody who has ever read poetry by Sylvia Plath or writings by Friedrich Nietzsche can attest to that.

If you gaze upon Picasso’s Guernica and tell me he didn’t paint that with a focused rage against the ignorance of war. Or take Banksy’s political art charged with righteous anger against tyrannical oppression. Transforming anger into art is a kind of rage enlightenment: a self-actualized creativity discovered through the channeling of anger into a heightened state of awareness, where rage becomes a fire that cooks things rather than burns them. With just the right amount of focus, at just the right temperature, the passion at the center of anger can, and often does, get turned into some amazing art. And there’s absolutely no reason why you cannot do the same. Forget talent. Forget genius or giftedness or skill. So what if others can do it better? Nobody even has to see it.

Create art with all of your passion. Channel your deepest anger into art, and watch in amazement as it alchemizes into soulful poetry. Like Nietzsche powerfully said, “Of all writings I love only that which is written with blood. Write with blood: and you will discover that blood is spirit.”

4) Transform anger into civil disobedience

“Love does not imply pacifism.” ~ Derrick Jensen

Use your focused anger like a surgeon’s scalpel slicing open the Achilles Heel of the violent and immoral system that has been propped up over you without your consideration. Use your focused anger like Jesus flogging bankers in the New Testament. Jesus saw an immoral system unfolding before him, so he dug deep, tapped into his righteous anger, and practiced civil disobedience despite the orthodoxy of the time. There’s no reason why you cannot do the same. As Howard Zinn said, “Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience.” Deep, focused anger can be a boon of sacred energy if we learn to use it wisely and courageously. This kind of sacred anger lifts us up and compels us to empower the powerless despite the powers that be, or to inspire the poor despite the overindulgences of the  rich. The type of focused anger that would rather live a life of uncomfortable freedom than a life of comfortable slavery. Such anger is sacred precisely because it instills in us an unstoppable courage. The kind of courage that declares to the overreaching powers that be, “I will not stand idly by while you decide who lives and who dies. I am unstoppable; another world is possible. And I will do everything in my power to build it, whether you approve of it or not.”

5) Transform anger into a good sense of humor

 The best way to achieve an emotional state flexible enough to be able to use anger as a transformative tool is to practice and to cultivate a good sense of humor. A good sense of humor flips all scripts. It transforms “the jokes on me” into “so what, it’s funny.” Powerful stuff.

In fact, a good sense of humor is so powerful that it is the only thing more powerful than power itself. I mean, a good sense of humor is immune to power constructs. It subsumes them. It transcends power precisely because it is able to laugh at power and not take things too seriously. A good sense of humor takes nothing too seriously, especially not power. And when the passion at the heart of anger is effectively transformed into a good sense of humor, the person cultivating it is truly a force to be reckoned with. No power in existence can stand in the way of a person with a good sense of humor. No authority. No king. No queen. No government. No army. No God. Not even death, because a good sense of humor laughs it all away.

It’s all water off a ducks back, and you’re the duck! Such sacred laughter puts all things into proper perspective. It’s all an illusion. It’s all a game. But, and here’s the rub, it’s a sacred illusion. It’s a sacred game. And you are the infinite player interdependently playing it all out. The cosmic joke becomes self-actualized. You’re no longer the butt-end, nor will you ever be again, for you have attained the almighty rank of The One Who Laughs.

Like Alan Watts said,

“Life is a matter of oscillation. Life is vibration. The question is:

How are you going to interpret that? Is it tremble, tremble, tremble;

Or is it laugh, laugh, laugh?”

 

Read more at: https://fractalenlightenment.com/36114/life/five-ways-to-use-your-anger-more-effectively | FractalEnlightenment.com

 

Leaning Into Uncomfortable Emotions Actually Makes You Happier!

Worth reading – from Off the Web!

Why Leaning Into Your Uncomfortable Emotions Actually Makes You Happier

2971831831_7ebf8e6860_oby Dina Overland

Life is the most amazing teacher.  It offers us the exact lesson we need, precisely when we need to hear it.

So that means that if you’re feeling emotions like anxiety, anger, sadness, jealousy, or bitterness, then life is offering you an opportunity to understand where you’re stuck in your growth… where you have more to learn… where you could focus your attention.

That’s why you should LEAN INTO those emotions and really FEEL them. Explore them. Consider WHY you’re feeling that feeling. Think about what lesson you can learn from the situation and the feeling you’re having.

It’s when we truly feel and experience ALL of our emotions that we’re able to move past the emotional pain and start receiving more happiness and peace in our lives.

In fact, these so-called negative emotions are actually quite positive — if you take the time to SIT with them. View them as messages to stop what you’re doing and look these feelings right in the eyes.

“To stay with that shakiness — to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge — that is the path of true awakening,”  ~ Pema Chodron 

I know this firsthand. Although I have accepted and come to peace with the fact that I will most likely only have one child, I still feel sad that I can’t have what I desperately want in my life — more children. In fact, I felt deep heartbreak earlier this year when I learned that three of my close friends were all pregnant.

I knew I had two options — ignore the crippling emotional pain, pretending I was fine with the news or open up my heart and really explore my honest emotions that were stirred up as a result of my friends’ pregnancies.

I opted to follow the advice I give to my clients and feel my feelings. So I gave my sadness and despair a space to exist by limiting my to-do list and social obligations. That freed up my time to practice good self-care tools like journaling, sharing my honest feelings with my husband (and he shared his with me), and meditating so that I was able to fully process the sadness and upset out of my system.

From an outside perspective, it looked like I was moping about for a few days, but I was really letting my sadness have a place to exist — without judgment. I wasn’t stuffing it away, hoping it would just miraculously disappear so I could avoid feeling crappy.

And I felt so much better for my choice to feel my feelings. It was like I healed a part of myself by releasing these emotions.

If you find yourself in a painful situation, and you think you can’t bear a minute more of whatever you’re feeling, follow these three steps:

  1. Become aware that you’re resisting and pushing away the feelings. Simply being mindful of your tendency to avoid feeling emotional pain is a huge step toward moving past that pain and feeling more happiness. That’s because you can’t change a thought or behavior if you don’t know you’re thinking or doing it.
  1. Observe your feelings without judgment. Don’t push them away, but don’t obsess over them either. Just acknowledge them and let them go. One way to do that is to observe your feelings and thoughts simply as “feelings” and “thoughts.” Don’t qualify them as good or bad, positive or negative. Just allow whatever feelings you have to come to the surface and remind yourself with compassion and kindness that you’re merely feeling a feeling or thinking a thought. To help prevent those feelings and thoughts from taking over your life, use this affirmation: I accept all of my emotions and thoughts. It is safe to feel those emotions and think those thoughts. 
  1. Refrain. As I mentioned in Step 1, we often try to distract ourselves from feeling sadness, loneliness, bitterness, and other so-called negative emotions. But try to refrain from diverting your attention away from those feelings. It’s when you refrain — by pausing and being mindful of those feelings BEFORE you take any action based on them — that you’re getting to know your deepest fears and able to heal the wounds that caused the fears. For example, if you’re feeling particularly hurt and lonely after your estranged spouse makes an insensitive comment to you, don’t just lash out in response. Instead, sit with that hurt and loneliness and use the opportunity to consider where else you can work on healing yourself.

Essentially, if we live our lives seeing everything as a chance to heal, then every single moment and experience — even the especially hard ones — is truly a gift helping us grow and welcome deep peace and happiness.

About The Author
Dina Overland is a Spiritual Life Coach helping people (especially mamas) move past their emotional pain so they can stop feeling angry, anxious, bitter, depressed, and alone and start feeling more happiness, love, and peace. Watch her FREE video — From Pain to Joy:  4 Steps to Finding Peace Through Emotional Suffering — connect with her on Facebook, and check out her website.
THIS ARTICLE IS OFFERED UNDER CREATIVE COMMONS LICENSE. IT’S OKAY TO REPUBLISH IT ANYWHERE AS LONG AS ATTRIBUTION BIO IS INCLUDED AND ALL LINKS REMAIN INTACT.

Original source: http://truththeory.com/2015/10/29/why-leaning-into-your-uncomfortable-emotions-actually-makes-you-happier/

 

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MBTI – The Best Personality Test in the WORLD!

“What’s right for one person may not be right for someone else.  And there are things that are important to me that others don’t care about at all.

And sometimes others’ behavior doesn’t make any sense to me.

I have my own Thoughts and my own Ideas that may or may not fit into your vision of who I should be.” ~PleaseUnderstandMe by DavidKeirseysimply-the-best.CTB

The Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

The Theory of Psychological Types was described by C. G. Jung in the 1920’s. He theorized that much of the seemingly random variations in peoples’ behaviors are actually rather systematic and reliable.

Isabel Briggs Myers studied Jung’s ideas and added her own insights. After 30 years of research and over 5,000 participants, she created a survey that would eventually become the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI ), and it is the most widely used personality test in the world.

Learning about our Personality Type helps us to understand. For instance, why do certain areas in life come easily while others are more of a struggle? And learning about other people’s Personality Types could help us to understand a more effective way to communicate with them.

This self-report questionnaire assesses the following::

  1. The flow of energy defines how you receive the essential part of your experience. Do you receive it from within yourself (Introverted) or from external sources (Extraverted)?
  2. How you take in information shows your preference for focusing on the basic information taken in through the five senses (Sensing), or by interpreting and adding meaning based on prior experiences (iNuition).
  3. How you prefer to make judgment calls— objectively, using logic and consistency (Thinking), or subjectively, considering other people and special circumstances (Feeling).
  4. The basic day-to-day decision-style that you prefer –  how you interact with the outer world — with a preference towards getting things decided (Judging), or for staying open to new information and options (Perception/Prospecting).

The test is amazingly accurate and informative. Why not give it a whirl?

I’ve searched high and low and found these great online tools.

  • The first link is to a very good adaptation of the original test (Copyright infringements prohibit the availability of the real one):

16Personalities- Get to know yourself – the BEST questionnaire on the web.  

 The Best of YOU!!!

Share your results if you’d like! ;)

Journaling & The Power of Words

Why Journal?

At times of writing I never try to think of what I have said before. My aim is not to be consistent with my previous statements on a given question, but to be consistent with truth as it may present itself to me at a given moment. The result has been that I have grown from truth to truth.”  ~Mahatma Gandhi

 

journalingJournaling enables the writer to try various techniques that can lead to self-discovery through a process of expression and reflection. The diary is a place where you can express yourself without inhibition: feelings, thoughts, worries, dreams, fantasies, and goals; to recognize and alter self-defeating habits of the mind, and come to know and feel compassion for who you really are. Journaling helps you understand and resolve your past, discover joy in the present, and aid you in creating your own future. It’s a way to nourish your soul with self-acceptance; a nonthreatening place to work out relationships with others; to rehearse future behaviors; and to explore the “shadowy”, unknown parts of self.

The Therapy Journal

I encourage my clients to keep a therapy journal while we work together. Sometimes there is a temptation to get lazy in therapy and want the counselor to provide all the support needed. But you must ultimately develop these skills yourself. The use of a therapy journal will help assure that you truly learn from our time together.  It will become a place to develop and practice new life skills as you develop and fine-tune alternative ways of observing, thinking, and coping with your inner and outer world. Journaling is the fastest and most effective way I know to become self-aware, and therefore, facilitate personal growth and positive change.

To begin, I ask clients to write a summary after each session. Start with jotting your impressions of the session. It can include the content discussed, feelings you experienced, and even your judgments of the quality of the session. These summaries will help you sift through insights and feelings that occurred during and after the therapeutic hour. You can record some of your therapist’s insights and go back and review the advice when needed, integrating and reinforcing the healing process. You can also write about issues that came up and weren’t examined during the therapeutic hour and explore them more fully on your own.

Also, bring your journal to each appointment to jot notes that you can expand upon later. In therapy, we are often doing deeper work that you may “forget” when you leave the office. Jotting notes provide the reminder.

Other Moments to write about

Sometimes a wish to explore an insight or feeling cannot wait for an appointment. By writing about it in your diary the insight or feeling can be captured when it occurs. (The energy of these experiences has often dissipated by the time you have another appointment, and you might wrongly dismiss it as no big deal). Writing when the topic is hot can also help you track any possible rhythms of thoughts and emotions. You can also use these writings to get a sense of what needs attention during the next session.

The therapy journal will also serve as a sort of ‘timeline’ where you can review earlier writings. This practice will reveal the often hard-to-see progress you made over time (as well as any continued patterns of unhealthy thinking).

Other times, in addition to a summary I may ask my client to practice various skills we’re working on (i.e., the Awareness Wheel, imaginary conversations, inner child work) – writing assignments that will facilitate new skills or evoke fresh insights.

A good therapist may demonstrate HOW to nurture, support, and guide you, but ultimately the central relationship in the diary is to be with yourself, and it is precisely this active, positive relationship with self that therapy works to facilitate.

 A few Guidelines

  1.   Privacy: Keep your journal in a safe, private place. Confidentiality is important, as it will allow you to be honest and express yourself freely without thoughts of judgment from others. You may want to share certain passages or drawings with people you trust. But be selective and avoid showing your work to anyone who tends to judge you.
  1. Setting and time: Create a quiet, comfortable place, ideally where you will not be interrupted or distracted. For some people this is difficult to do. If that is the case, then figuring out how to create privacy for yourself will be an important step in your own growth. Reserve a block of at least 15 minutes when you decide to write. Date each entry and keep them in chronological order.
  1. Write spontaneously: Allow yourself to follow your intuition. Write quickly and allow the unexpected to happen. If you find you are struggling to write, you are probably trying to come across a certain way. Write as you speak: Do not concern yourself with spelling, punctuation, or grammar. This only inhibits spontaneity and engages the inner-critic.

If you have an inspiration and your journal is not available, write on anything you can find! You can then paste, tape, or staple it in your journal later. This will be helpful when you look back over your work to see your progress and evolution.

  1. Materials – Some believe your paper should be at least 5×7 so you can write LARGE when excited or angry, or small when sad or quiet. You also may draw sometimes, and/or use crayons. I prefer an 8-x11 notebook with three sections. The first section might be the “Therapy Journal” described above; the next section could be devoted to “Inner-Child Dialogue”, and the final section might be used for certain assignments, like the “Unsent Letter”, Awareness Wheel practice, dialogues, the Worksheet expansions, etc.

Happy journaling!

 

“You have to find a mother inside yourself. We all do.
Even if we already have a mother, we still have to
find this part of ourselves inside
.”

Sue Monk Kidd