Myth: You Shouldn’t Have to ask for What You Want

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Asking for What You Want – Giving Yourself What You Want

Asking for what you want, even though it may feel bold or awkward, is a healthy step towards self-esteem.  People don’t know what you want until you ask them. The act of asking is a validation of the awareness that you deserve to have what you want. If others are unable or unwilling to accommodate your request, give it to yourself.

bouquet_of_daisies_on_white_background_1349072904I had a thought in my first marriage: “I wish he would buy me flowers.” So I’d drop hints ( I just LOVE daisies!). Finally, I bought HIM some flowers. He was tickled, “Wow! No one has ever bought me flowers before!” But, alas, still no flowers for me.

I Shouldn’t Have to ask for What I Want. It’s rude. It’s selfish. It sounds needy. But how would he know?

So I asked him for some flowers. I thought, “and if he does, wonderful, I get what I want, but if he doesn’t, I can turn it around”. You know, if I want the flowers, why don’t I give me flowers?

And then you may begin to understand that it’s something else you wanted – maybe it wasn’t just the flowers.But now you are being responsible for knowing what’s going on inside.  And because you are listening to you, you begin to become your own best friend.

Isn’t that what you wanted?

Hold your Tongue

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Hold your tongueHere is some advice to watch what you say, but what I got out of it was this:

“And the truth shall set you free”

Giving someone honest feedback, even if it may be upsetting, creates an opportunity for the “other” to take a look at themselves. Who knows – maybe they ponder… and change.

irasia621's avatarThe Fickle Heartbeat

Hold your tongue

When I was younger (immature to be more correct), I thought I had an advantage as a girl. As the girl, I was the one who could get mad, throw stupid tantrums, and yell out, “I don’t ever want to see your face again!” And he would have to apologize, beg and plead to have me back. Yeah, my first boyfriend spoiled me rotten, which resulted in many years of failed relationships oblivious to what I was doing wrong. Honestly, (cross my heart) I really didn’t know that guys could get their hearts broken too. I really thought they were immune to those “girly” (sad, mad, furious and annoying) feelings, so I barged into their lives, caused a ruckus, stirred up all kinds of trouble, and casually left when I felt like I needed my “space”.

It wasn’t until later when someone I really liked told me after a few…

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