5 Things You Must Do Before You Look for Love Again.

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Ah, we all love being in love, yes? Who doesn’t? How we love to have that warm fuzzy feeling when you have that special someone  bring you flowers, open the car door for you, leave cute little post-it notes on the coffee maker for you.  Yes, love is bliss. With it, also comes that beautiful “I’m in love” glow that all your friends are so jealous of. You have a skip in your step, butterflies in your tummy and life is just so damn good. You wish you had that. That love. You’d do almost anything to have it, wouldn’t you?

Not so fast, sunshine.

 

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That love will come at a very high price if you don’t have this one very crucial thing.

SELF LOVE! Yup, I said it. Self-love.

Do you have a history of attracting losers and cheaters and control freaks? Are you constantly attracting the wrong kind of guy? I’m going out on a limb here and assume that if you are reading this article then you answered yes to those questions. Do you ever wonder why this keeps happening to you? The answer is simple. You don’t love yourself enough yet. I know, I know, this sounds mean, but you have no idea how true it is.

When we don’t hold our values as high as they should be and our boundaries are weak, we allow less than desirable partners into our lives. Why? Because we want love so bad we’ll do just about anything, right?  Even settle for the wrong kind of partner. But what kind of love do you want? Don’t you want that happy, trusting, butterflies in your tummy kinda love? That faithful, beautiful, warm love? You know the kind. The kind that gives you a skip in your step.  The kind that makes you feel like the most beautiful, most loved, most adored and most important person in the whole wide world.
So how do we love ourselves first? There’s no magic pill here, no quick fix. This might take a bit of time. How much time depends on you and how fast it takes you to realize that you are awesome!!
  • The first thing you need to do is believe that: you ARE beautiful,  you ARE wonderful,  you ARE important, and YOU are the most special and magnificent person in the whole wide world. Yup, you sure are. Tell yourself this daily. Hourly if you have to. Say it. Mean it. Feel it. Believe it.
  • Make a list of what you want and what you don’t want. Do NOT compromise the *don’t want* part of this list.
  • Set boundaries. This will help you become a stronger person when you do this and stick to it!
  • Look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are and how much you love yourself. I do this all the time. Honest I do. ♥
  • Know what your values are and don’t sacrifice them for anyone, ever.

When you love yourself so much, you will soon feel happy and confident and with that, you will attract men that see this confidence and beauty inside of you. These men will treat you with respect, admire you and won’t try to take that away from you. These are confident happy men that want the same in their woman.

If there is something about yourself that you don’t love, then change it! Change it now! The longer you wait to do that, the more losers you will attract. It’s a vicious cycle, really. Stop the cycle. You have the power in you to do that. Oh yes you do!! Trust me on this one.

 

Original: 5 Things You Must Do Before You Look for Love Again..

“Love is the greatest Zen koan” ~ Osho

Mirror

“Relationship is a mirror, and the purer the love is, the better the mirror. But the higher love needs that you should be open. The higher love needs you to be vulnerable. You have to drop your armor. You have not to be constantly on guard. You have to drop the calculating mind. You have to risk.

The reflection that you will find in the other of your own self may be ugly.  But if you avoid the mirror you are not going to become beautiful. By avoiding the situation you are not going to grow either. The challenge has to be taken.

And then there are problems, problems which are meaningless. There are problems which are creative because they lead you to higher awareness. There are problems which lead you nowhere; they simply keep you tethered, they simply keep you in your old mess.

Love is the only real thing worth doing. All else is secondary. If it helps love, it is good. All else is just a means, love is the end. So whatsoever the pain, go into love.

Love is the greatest Zen koan.

It is painful, but don’t avoid it. If you avoid it you have avoided the greatest opportunity to grow. Go into it, suffer love, because through the suffering comes great ecstasy. Yes, there is agony, but out of the agony, ecstasy is born.

Yes, you will have to die as an ego, but if you can die as an ego, you will be born as a Buddha. And love will give you the first tongue-tip-taste of Tao, of Sufism, of Zen. Love will give you the first proof that God is, that life is not meaningless.”

~Osho

Adapted from the article @  http://theunboundedspirit.com/why-love-is-painful/