All You Want to Know About Therapy

For Therapy to work, you must have a good connection…

and that’s why        

self-help books don’t work.

Our emotional lives, with all their emotional cues, are on board before any verbal or conceptual ability appears. And the consequences of these experiences are unaffected by intellectual efforts to change them.

That may be because emotions, and our most powerful “memories”, seem to be stored in the right hemisphere of the brain. And yet our thinking (or intellectualizingis a left-hemisphere activity.

Books and conversations about why we act the way we do are certainly helpful, but they don’t seem to be enough to effect real changes in our interactions with the world and ourselves.

So how can we make real changes?

Only by recreating as much as possible the initial conditions in which the processes were created in the first place.

We are born wired to seek connection with others. 

You may have heard that your first loves (parents) create the models for every relationship there after. They become our relationship-blueprints. Our experiences, especially with our caregivers, will become unconscious, intuitive memories that form the basis of our emotional life.

So if you want to change the deep, unconscious patterns that define your reactions to life’s events, you need an environment that can mirror those earliest connections, while, ideally, re-writing them (“neuroplasticity”). The result is a more harmonious existence in your current situations.

A powerful way to do this is through a positive connection with a trained professional (i.e., a psychotherapist). Good therapy aims to create a safe connection with the client so that emotional healing can take place.

And there is more to it, of course. Techniques that require direct experience have proven effective, such as working with the “inner child , mindfulness meditations, Journaling and others. I believe these techniques work because they access the right-brain.

When my client opens up to me as much as they can in a session, I know that we are accessing the right-brain. In doing so, the chances for authentic change become possible.

If you’d like to contact me, have a question, or want to chat, please click the link:

Work and contact info

call, 801-252-6754 (private voicemail, 24/7),

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How To Follow Your Bliss

Being Alive copy

Joseph Campbell is one of my modern time heroes (3/26/04 – 10/30/87). An American philosopher, writer and lecturer, he is best known for his work in comparative mythology. He wrote several books that will no doubt become classics: The Power of MythA Hero With a Thousand Faces, among others. I think he coined the term,

“Follow Your Bliss”

Here are a few of his conclusions:

How do you find the divine power in yourself? The word enthusiasm means ‘filled with a god’, so what makes you enthusiastic? Follow it.

That’s been my advice to young people who ask me, ‘What shall I do?’ I taught once in a boys’ prep school -when they had to decide their life course. You know, where are they going? And they’re caught with excitement. This one wants to study art, this one poetry, this one anthropology. But dad says study law; that’s where the money is. OK, that’s the decision.

And you know what my answer would be: ‘where your enthusiasm is.’ So I have a little saying: follow your bliss. The bliss is the message of God to you. 

If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living becomes the one you are living. Wherever you are – if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment… the working out of the plot of your own life.

The basic story of the hero’s journey involves giving up where you are, going into the realm of adventure, coming to some kind of symbolically rendered realization, and then returning to the field of normal life.

“I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, to actually feel the rapture of being alive.”

The way to find out about happiness is to keep your mind on those moments when you feel most happy,  — not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy.

This requires a bit of self-analysis. What is it that makes you happy? Stay with it, no matter what people tell you. This is what is called, “following your bliss”.

Quotes from:

The Power of Myth

Thinking Allowed: Understanding Mythology

Pathways to Bliss