Mindfulness And Day to Day Life

Worth reading from off the web!

Serenity
Serenity

When we hear about the importance of being in the present moment, the “now”, and hear that it is the only truth, newbies can feel quite inadequate!

This makes a great deal of sense to me. Oftentimes, I find myself distracted by thought about the future. Or, I replay past experiences in my mind, often unproductively.Being in the moment frees us to experience life more fully, which is a good thing. But might this edict have a shadow side? Like any rule or declaration, it has limitations and is prone to misunderstanding.

Discursive thinking — going around in circles with our thoughts — does not get us far. We often haphazardly stray from one thought to another; the chain of association may keep us spinning our wheels without gaining traction.

Self-critical thoughts are also common ways that we stray from the present moment. We may be operating from core beliefs that we’re not good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough. We may notice self-talk such as, “What’s wrong with me?” or “That comment was dumb,” or “When will I ever find a good relationship?”

Meditation and mindfulness practices may offers instructions to simply notice our thoughts. The practice of “mental noting,” perhaps saying quietly to ourselves, “thinking, thinking,” may guide our attention away from unhelpful thoughts and back to the breath, our body, and the present moment.

Rather than being plagued by self-critical thoughts, we might labor under a pall of shame — a sense of feeling defective or unworthy. Unhealed shame keeps us lost in a haze, preventing us from being present with people and life.

Honoring Our Thoughts and Feelings

Being distracted by our thoughts doesn’t mean they’re always unproductive. There may be times when we need to think something through — perhaps a business decision, retirement planning, or how to communicate our feelings and desires to our partner. Meditation teacher Jason Siff offers this refreshing take on meditation:

I see clinging to experiences and elaborating on them, or thinking about them, as being quite natural and nothing to be alarmed about. . . . I have heard many reports of meditation sittings where someone has written an article, composed a piece of music, planned an art project, or redecorated her house, and it was actually very productive and efficient to be doing this in meditation.

Sometimes we need to allow some spaciousness around our feelings so that they have a chance to settle. Rather than hurl an angry or blaming remark and thinking we are living in the moment, we benefit from reflecting on our deeper, truer feelings. There may be sadness, fear, or shame beneath our initial anger. Can we allow ourselves to be in the moment in a way where we allow our deeper feelings to emerge? Noticing and sharing our authentic feelings connects us with ourselves in a way that can connect more intimately with others.

Spiritually-inclined people often overlook the importance of being with feelings that are arising in the moment. If we think that being in the moment means regarding feelings as distractions, then we’re no longer in the moment. Trying to be somewhere we’re not takes us away from the moment. Mindfulness is the practice of being present with what is, not trying to be in a different moment.

For some people, the edict to be in the present moment may be a subtle way to avoid uncomfortable feelings. As soon as an unpleasant emotion arises, they may try to yank their attention back to their breath in an attempt to be in the moment. But then they never get to the root of their feelings, which will keep recurring.

Just as a hurting child will clamor for attention until heard, our feelings need attention. When welcomed and listened to in a gentle, caring way, they tend to pass. We are then freed to be in a new moment, now freed of the subtle pull of unattended and troubling emotions.

“Being in the moment” can be a helpful reminder if we understand it in a more expansive way. It can remind us to be more mindful of wherever we happen to be. When emotions, thoughts, or desires are arising within, we can notice them, be gentle with them, and allow them to be just as they are. We live with more inner peace as we make room for the full range of our human experience.

What do you think?🤔

Freedom is One Question Away…

If it’s true that the brain creates 3 thousand thoughts per minute, doesn’t it make sense that many of them aren’t even true?

Write one down. Take a break. Come back to it later and ask yourself, “Is it true?” Wait for the answer.

You may break out into a Big Smile… you might even laugh.

Experience the instant freedom!

Here are some examples:

* She’s hates me, so I must be a bad person.*

She hates me.

Is it true?

No. She seems upset, but it’s unlikely that she hates me.

I’m a bad person.

Is it true?

No. I have a lot of great qualities. I’m not perfect though. I’m ok with that, so, no. I am not a bad person”.

* I can’t get through this — this is killing me *

This is killing me.

Is it true?

It’s not true – this is uncomfortable but I won’t die.

Making the Darkness Conscious

Carl Jung

We all have parts of ourselves we aren’t exactly crazy about. Yet true lasting happiness cannot be maintained until we learn to embrace those aspects we wish to discard.

Referred to as “the Shadow”, our unconscious consists of the parts of self that we have, at some point, tried to disown. We’ve built walls, developed defenses, practiced denial, and even built false-selves to camouflage these dark-parts. But try as we might, these shadow aspects show up anyway.

When we face, and embrace these parts, we find they weren’t monsters after all. Misunderstood perhaps –  but not monsters. Once conscious, we experience greater freedom, authenticity, and self-understanding. When we understand ourselves, others will, too.

Try a Test or Two!

Fun stuff – from Off the Web!

Sometimes I’m a little bored. Maybe I’m a little crazy too – because I find online Psych tests fun! If you are like me, try a test or two – free! From Psychology Today (click the link below).

Here are a few you might like:

Commitment Readiness Questionnaire – Fear Of Relationship Commitment Test
38 questions, 20 min

Find yourself wishing you could climb out the bathroom window everytime your partner brings up the commitment issue? Fear of commitment is a major cause of breakups in romantic relationships. One person is ready to tie the knot, while the other feels as though a knot is being tied around their neck. Are you ready to commit to taking the plunge? Find out if you’re really ready by taking this commitment readiness test.

Arguing Style Test   43 questions, 20 min

This test is designed to evaluate the arguing style you use when you fight with the people you care about. Arguing is an indication of wanting to communicate something, usually something close to one’s heart. While many issues can be resolved through peaceful discussion, other conflicts can provoke anger, defensiveness, resentment and other strong emotions. Thankfully, everyone can learn how to communicate and solve conflicts efficiently in order to achieve mutual understanding, fulfillment and deep intimacy. Please examine the following statements and indicate how well they describe you, how often you feel that way, or to what degree you agree with the statement.

Anger Management Test 10 questions, 5 min

Do you have difficulty controlling your temper? Does your anger come out in unhealthy ways that could hurt others as well as yourself? Anger is a powerful emotion that can lead to serious problems in your relationships and career if left unbridled. Learn more about your ability to manage it by taking this anger test. It’s designed to evaluate the manner in which you approach and handle anger-inducing situations.

Career Personality & Aptitude Test   240 questions, 60 min

Tired of running the rat race in a job you don’t enjoy? Wondering which career is best matched to you? Try a Career Personality & Aptitude Test. This tool is designed to assess your interests, values, and preferences surrounding your career. It will offer you an interesting look at yourself, providing information about what motivates and interests you. In addition, it will provide suggestions of particular careers that are well-suited to you, along with some information about these careers.

Assertiveness Do you stand up for yourself?

Attention Span Test Do you focus on a task or zone out?

Emotional IQ Rate your emotional intelligence.

From   http://www.psychologytoday.com/tests