What Can We Control?

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Nothing Is Under Control – except my thinking.

When my mind wanders…  and starts thinking about things I cannot control, I notice tension in my body. I now see tension as a signal that I AM DELUSIONAL (Don’t worry – It’s not as bad as it sounds), and I go inside myself to observe what story I am running.

Life is simple. It’s internal.

There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s. Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God’s business. Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor’s business. Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business. ” ~ Byron Katie

Can I control the weather? No. When I argue with the weather – in my mind – I feel distress.

Can I control your life’s path? No. When I try – if only in my mind – I feel distress.

Life is internal. Clearly I am here to evolve. My job is to work on me. When I work on me, it can’t help but improve my relationships, my sense of peace, my World!

As a therapist I have learned that my job – my business – is to hear my client’s story, to understand how that story affects my client, and feel the anguish of that story. Then, gently, slowly, I make it my business to help them reconsider where they have the most control.

 

 

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We Are Always Evolving

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April Peerless

 

I love these words…

because people have a tendency to see others’ as static beings.

It’s not personal. It’s how the brain processes the environment. It observes, then compares the new information with what it already (thinks it) knows.

But people are NOT static. We evolve constantly. We are not consistent. We don’t have the same opinion about a thing tomorrow that we had yesterday. 

I think this is liberating news – for the self and our thoughts about others. Here is what Gandhi says about writing in a journal:

“At times of writing I never think what I have said before. My aim is not to be consistent with my previous statements on a given question, but to be consistent with truth as it may present itself to me at a given moment. The result has been that I have grown from truth to truth.” 

–Mahatma Gandhi

Allow yourself to be inconsistent! Allow yourself to explore, and re-explore, your views about life. And remember to offer the same compassion to others.

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