Creating Bonds through Thoughtfulness

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Family LIFE…

sometimes can seem very monotonous.  Our alarms go off, we get everyone off to where they need to go. Then we work, run a few errands, carpool, serve dinner, and go to bed — only to do it all over again!  While we can create deep meaning in this routine, it is FUN, and relationally necessary, to break out every once in a while and do something different.

Going zip lining through a forest, or taking a ride on Seattle’s new Ferris wheel above the city sounds exciting, but clearly most of us can’t fit that in between piano at 4:00pm and soccer at 5:30pm.

So what do we do?

We surprise small.  

Small surprises are thoughtful, and they foster good will in relationships. girl-94876_640

 

They communicate to the other person that you have thought of them, put effort toward them, and have taken the time to do something to make their life just a little bit better.

Last year I was out running errands, and decided that I’d grab a couple of bags of super-saver popsicle and drop by my 5th grader’s lunch at the elementary school.  I honestly was not prepared for the response.  It was a total mob scene.  As my son happily ran around the cafeteria handing out popsicles, kids followed him in droves, begging to have one.  I should have brought a few more bags with me!

Hudson was thrilled with this small surprise.  After school he said, “Mom, thanks so much for making my lunch so much fun today.”  Was that small effort worth it? 10x YES!

 

We can incorporate small surprises into our regular routine.

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•Leave 5 min. early for school and drop by the donut house (without telling them).

•Get everyone ready for bed, then call them outside.  Make a bed on the lawn and look at the stars.

•Reserve their favorite book at the library, and surprise them with it at the counter when you go to check out.

•Leave a note for your husband or teenager on the steering wheel of their car.

UNEXPECTED SURPRISES CREATE BONDS IN RELATIONSHIPS

The goal is to put a twist on something ordinary – to foster belonging, whimsy, and joy.  

 

Todays Dare:

Think of a regular activity you could do with a simple twist!

Source: Krista Gilbert at meaninginaminute.com

6 Secrets to Keep Romantic Love Alive

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couples-in-loveThe definition of a romantic relationship – intense love, sexual desire and long-term attachment – is not as uncommon or unattainable in marriages as you may think.

“We are born to love,” writes anthropologist and author of Why We Love, Helen Fisher. “That feeling of elation that we call romantic love is deeply embedded in our brains.”

Our culture can be pretty suspicious about the prospect of romantic love enduring over time and through obstacles, and for good reason. Roughly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, with 2.4 million U.S. couples splitting in 2012. And among those that stay together, marital dissatisfaction is common. In long-term partnerships that do succeed, romantic love tends to fade into companionship and a love more akin to friendship than to that of a couple in love.

But no matter how cynical we are about the prospect of life-long love, it still seems to be what most Americans are after. Romantic love is increasingly viewed as an essential component of a marriage. One study reports that 91 % of women and 86 % of American men say that they would not marry someone with whom they were not in love. Even if the other person had every other quality they wanted in a partner.

And romantic love is good for both our marriages and our health. Free from the craving and obsession of the early stage of falling in love (I call this the endorphin stage) – research shows it’s correlated with marital satisfaction as well as individual self-esteem and well-being.

Research psychologists who study love, marriage and relationships have pinpointed a number of factors that contribute to long-lasting romantic love.

Here are 6 science-backed secrets of couples that keep intense romantic love alive for decades and entire lifetimes.

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