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Attachment arises out of a single flawed assumption of the ego-mind.
The ego assumes that when a goal is attained, when something happens that we want, then we will be happy, or fulfilled, or joyful. It also assumes that if something undesirable happens, then we will be sad, or angry, or hurt.
In truth, however, our state of Being is completely independent of any events that take place in our lives.
As you sit reading this right now, can you summon a feeling of joy? Go ahead and summon up a happy memory or a joyful expectation. Allow a bubble of joy to grow in the pit of your stomach and rise up to fill your heart. Smile until the smile becomes genuine. Take a few breaths, and inhale joy. Let the energy travel outward from your heart until it fills your Being. Go ahead and close your eyes. Sit with the energy of joy for a while.
Nothing happened in your life to create this joy. You generated joy all by yourself, through simple intention. You were both the cause and the result of joy. And you could create joy at absolutely any time, just by deciding to do so.
This is true no matter what events are happening in your life.
We can summon the state of being in love without being in a relationship. We can create a state of peace, even while watching the evening news.
The ego-mind will have us believe that all of these things -abundance, love, peace – are dependent on what is happening in our lives. The ego will have us believe that love comes into our lives from someone else. The ego believes that peace is the result of having all our tasks done.
So why aren’t we all constantly in a joyful, abundant, peaceful state of Being?
Go ahead and once again summon that energy of joy for a minute or two. If you remain in that state of being for a while, you will notice your mind getting bored. That’s right, joy gets boring after a while! There are no problems to solve, nothing to get worked up over. There are no worries to entertain the mind. That’s why the mind creates attachment.
If we are to stay out of attachment, we need to give the mind something to do. Left to its own devices, the mind is reactive. The mind reacts to everything – every event, what other people say to us, etc., and so creates our state of Being.
If our reaction is negative, the mind will come up with a goal that would create a positive outcome instead. And so we begin believing the illusion that a certain monthly income will give us abundance, or a romantic relationship will bring us love.
But we can become conscious creators.
We can deliberately generate the state of being that we desire for ourselves. We can then give the mind the task of expressing that state of being creatively, through action.
The outcome simply wouldn’t matter. We are already in the state that we want to create. We are simply taking action to give the mind something to do. The mind will think and solve problems and make plans. That is its job, and we can’t change that. But we can make our minds activity about creatively expressing joy, or abundance, or love rather than about creating a specific result.
For example, the mind might suggest that we could call our partner because we want him or her to tell us how special we are – to make us feel loved.
Or we could BE in a state of love, and the creative expression of that love is making a phone call. In this action, we don’t want anything out of the phone call – it’s just our state of being, authentically expressing itself.
While the action is still making a phone call to our partner, the first goal comes from a place of attachment. We want something out of that phone call to feel loved. The other has no agenda. It is just an expression of what we already have and are. Hence, detached.
What if every action we took was only a creative expression of our state of Being? What if every conversation were simply an extension of our Being, with no agenda, no attachment to outcome?
Our state of Being is completely independent of any event, outcome, goal, or person. Nothing that happens in our lives determines whether we are happy, or loved, or fulfilled unless we allow it. This is the key to detachment. We can at any time decide to be peaceful, or in love, or joyful. This is the true gift of free will and free choice.
Edited for readability from:
The Key to Detachment | Empowered Soul
The Key to Detachment
By Andrea Hess
Embrace Your Highest Path