Asking me to change is asking me to hate myself.

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STOP trying to change yourself in order to please others!

Being Sensitive — Being Aware

Society has tipped too far to the left.

1. Political Correctness has created a monster of hatred between people. Remember the good ol’ days 1960-80? We were only required to tell someone if we felt offended. There would be a teaching moment, then we’d go on with our conversation. (Because we believed in free speech). It didn’t have to become “my way is superior to yours.

2. Judgements about people you don’t agree with? Different view points are the mother’s of creation. I’ve noticed the violence when people believe they are superior to another.

3. ESP EXPECTATIONS and Awareness of how we might affect others with our words – Should we know how we affect others? And then when someone fails, it’s okay to ridicule and despise, simply because we think we are superior in our opinions. Isn’t obvious that this is an act of war? Ironic, right?

Yet, if you’ve been on the planet long enough, we know that the “Pendulum Swings” – this is Beautiful because the pendulum will always seek balance.

I’ve noticed that our issues, causes, and sensitivities change from decade to decade; from month to month; from bad day to good day.

If I say something on Wednesday, 2020, and you feel I was inappropriate, then I say it again 2023 and you have zero reaction —- what changed?

Is it any wonder that people are becoming increasingly diagnosed with “social anxiety”?

I recall when I made a conscious decision to stop trying to change myself in order to please others —- Because it was strangling me. I sometimes felt paralyzed. I was exhausted. Not being me was not working. For me at least, it was a lost cause — I always leaked out.

And the virus grew – I didn’t want anyone to have the “wrong impression” of me.

BE HAPPIER.

BE SMARTER.

BE FUNNER.

Be MORE LIKE-ABLE.

When I realized I had become a big ball of self-consciousness and paranoia, and that I was exhausted in every social situation, I went the other way: to Embrace myself; Despite my faults, I wanted to Be as Self-Aware as I could and Open to Feedback. I wanted to interact without a story – Yours or mine. I wanted to be me — despite your judgements.

BTW- I’ll admit, hardly anyone signed up with me about this new plan. (Except for my clients – they paid me to help them get clarity).

I know, however, that I can breathe deeper, sleep better, and feel more like embracing a new day. I know that stifling myself was toxic to me.

Asking me to change is like asking me to die. DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?

3 Steps To Self Love

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Loving yourself unconditionally is not about merely liking yourself on the surface. Instead, it means to love and accept yourself fully, despite whatever flaws you think you may have.

“I Love Me THIS MUCH!”

But how do you get to a space of loving yourself unconditionally? Here are three steps you can take to help you get there.

Spend Quality Time With Yourself

We grow to love the people in our lives by spending quality time with them. We need to cultivate self-love in the same way – by spending some quality time with ourselves.

However, the thought of spending time alone with ourselves can make many of us feel uncomfortable.

By choosing to spend time to be alone, you create space to understand and accept yourself better. Journaling, meditating, going for walks, unplugging from your devices and taking time to relax and do nothing are all ways in which you can spend quality time with yourself.

self-reflection via journaling

Journaling is particularly useful. As uncomfortable as it may seem, just letting our minds flow, with pen to paper, we can create all the acknowledgment we thought we needed from another. Writing our thoughts down creates a flow that allows us to go deeper.

Challenge Your Internal Judgments Of Yourself

We may hate it when others judge us but ironically, many of us tend to judge ourselves all the time! It’s hard to cultivate self-love when our internal dialogue is a constant barrage of insults.

Try observing your internal dialogue a few times a day. It’s shocking! Try to imagine how you would talk to a child. Would you really call a child some of the names you call yourself? It may take a while, but eventually we may notice that we can offer all the compassion and love that we thought required someone else to give.

Practice Gratitude To Take Charge of Your Mind

When we let our minds run on autopilot, we tend to focus on the negatives and gravitate towards our shortcomings, losing perspective of all that is good in our lives. Try focusing your attention on what’s good in your life.

The simple act of writing Gratitude Lists is a great way to develop a positive perspective and let go of comparing yourself with others.

Keeping a gratitude journal is about consciously choosing to dwell your attention on the good that you may not otherwise notice or acknowledge.

In fact, an overwhelming amount of research indicates that practicing gratefulness can make us happier, strengthen relationships, have a positive impact on your physical and mental health, and help in reducing stress.

It doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay, because the road to self-love is a journey, and it begins with our willingness to make a conscious effort to take the first step.