Practicing Non-Attachment

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I love zen humor!

A Zen Buddhist believes attachments are the cause of all earthly suffering. It’s the clinging that hurts. But revulsion causes suffering as well.

It’s the attachment to meaning: “I want… I abhor…” One path to non-attachment is practicing mindfulness – being an observer of the present moment without judgement.

Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?    A Taoist Tale

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There once was a simple farmer who lived and struggled alongside his village neighbors and friends.

One day a neighbor dropped by for a visit.

”How are things?” he asked.

“The fence broke and my horse ran away.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. How are you going to work the fields now?”

The farmer replied: “Who knows what is good or bad?”

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 A week later the horse returned, but he was not alone! He brought with him a herd of wild horses. This time the neighbor congratulated the farmer on his good luck, but the farmer just replied: “Who knows what is good or bad?”

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 Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. “That’s too bad! Now he can’t help you around the farm!” The farmer’s response was simply: “Who knows what is good or bad?”

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 News of impending war came and every able-bodied man was required to join forces in battle. The farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg, was the only boy in the village to remain. His neighbors were envious, but said: “Oh, that’s good! How lucky! You get to keep your only son.”

The farmer replied: “Who knows what is good or bad?”

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Are you looking for the good or bad in every situation? What could you do differently to be more peaceful and balanced in your life?

 From this story we can see that the farmer and his neighbor have different ways of viewing events in the world. And they create different results.

It turns out that it is our judgments that cause our suffering, not the actual events. These judgments create body sensations (emotions) and they can lead to an endless cycle where the emotion controls you instead of you controlling your emotions.

How can we learn to observe without judgment?

 Learning to observe the emotions arising and allowing them to pass will significantly reduce the stress you experience in your day-to-day life.

The point is to experience them, observe that you are having them, but not attach to them, thus allowing them to disappear just as they arose in the first place.

Developing a daily meditation practice is a great way to learn to observe feelings and develop the ability to not get caught up in my emotions when situations do arise.

If you’re new to meditation or want a guided meditation to try, check out my playlist on YouTube:  Jane’s “Mindfulness” playlist

I have also found activities that allow me to get into my body (such as Yoga, cycling, dancing), and connecting with nature (walking to the local park) to be very useful practices as well.

 

 

 

 

10 Lessons from the Dalai Lama

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10 Beautiful Life Lessons from Dalai Lama

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Dalai Lama has always been an inspiration to me. The essence of his teaching is to promote human values – self-discipline, forgiveness, empathy, happiness, peace and love. Peaceful and disarming, Dalai Lama described himself as a “simple Buddhist monk.” And it is in that simplicity that his lessons emerge. Let’s discover together how his teachings and thoughts will change your life.

1) Love is the absence of judgment. Judgement serves no purpose in our lives. It blocks us from truth, from love, and keeps you stuck in the illusion of separation. Love is our true essence. Love has no limitations, we are all beads strung together on the same thread of love. In the absence of judgment, love is what remains.

2) My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. Being kind and compassionate is at the core of all spiritual teachings and path. It’s something that everyone can cultivate by choice. Instead of spending your time criticizing others, work on being positive and compassionate. Kindness gives a sense of well-being and connectedness that improves our own mental health. According to a research, whenever you are kind, your body rewards you with feel-good hormones and helps you stay healthy.

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3) Positive and negative actions are determined by one’s own motivation. If the motivation is good, all actions become positive; if the motivation is wrong, all actions become negative. Any action, whether the result is positive or negative, largely depends on motivation. If the motivation is sincere then the action can be positive, but if our motivation is not pure, even religion becomes smeared. In this statement by Dalai Lama, motivation refers to a thought and thought determines your intention. So, keep your thoughts good, always!

4) Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. When things don’t go the way we planned or as we want them to, we tend to look within ourselves. We think about what we could have done differently – it helps us to realign our focus, learn from our past mistakes and without setbacks or a bumpy ride, you would never be able to appreciate the smooth ride. When you overcome the fear for failure, you are prepared to face any challenges that come your way, and nothing is too difficult to handle. Remember, something better is in store for you!

5) We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. Relax Most of us live in this illusion that happiness and peace is derived from our external world, but the truth is exactly the opposite. If you are not at peace intrinsically, the outside world won’t make any difference to your state of mind. To be at peace, you have to shift from the future to the here and now. Live in the present as that is all you have. Spend time to reflect and chase away the negative thoughts. Accept yourself and then allow yourself to grow.

6) Sleep is the best meditation.This is my personal favorite. Sleep is the time when we get in touch with our subconscious mind through our dreams. We travel to a completely different world and return back refreshed. All living beings indulge in sleeping and it is one of the most crucial activities for the well-being of our mind, body and soul. Sleep deprivation is a huge culprit in negative moods, including anxiety and depression. Never compromise on your sleep!

7) The true hero is one who conquers his own anger and hatred. It is easy to fall prey to negative emotions – anger, hatred, fear, jealousy etc. Anger is a corrosive emotion that harms your mental and physical health. It damages the nervous, cardiovascular and gut system. Anger, if fed, can also lead to depression. In order to be free from anger and hatred, one requires a strong sense of self-determination, compassion and patience. Make a conscious choice to deal with the emotion and things that make you angry and focus on finding a solution – that would be a heroic accomplishment!

8) Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace. What+would+you+do+if+you+had+no+fear Thomas Gray said, “Where ignorance is bliss, ’tis folly to be wise.” Many of us only use the first half of the sentence, “Ignorance is Bliss” to avoid getting into situations of complex nature. Sometimes we ignore because it’s our own fault, out of fear, and fear remains the greatest enemy of peace. Ignorance is the root cause of our piled up frustration which can show up disastrously on some occasion. To evolve and be at peace, one has to rise above the dirt (or adversity) and blossom (evolve) like a lotus.

9) It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. This quote speaks a lot in itself. Don’t lose hope if an event or situation is negative or unpleasant, look on the bright side of a situation and embrace everything life throws at you. With this attitude, life doesn’t feel like a burden but an ever-learning adventure.

10) True spirituality is a mental attitude you can practice at any time. Spirituality is building a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves. It is about embracing the interconnectedness of all things, and to awaken to the true nature of self. You can have a spiritual experience while listening to music, walking in the woods, watching the rising sun or whatever nourishes your soul. This keeps your mind, body and spirit healthy!

 

from: Fractal Enlightenment by ,