Why do people seek therapy?

Everything you wanted to know about therapy but were afraid to askcouchYou’re bound to have the wrong idea about therapy if you’ve never been. And you’re not alone. But for starters, it’s not about being sick, being crazy, weak, or self-obsessed.

Therapy helps with the problems of living through  collaboration with a trained professional.

People pursue therapy for a variety of reasons, but typically  for the common everyday issues  of living that are causing distress – things they haven’t found answers for through other means. Psychotherapy  may come in the form of support, information, guidance, self-understanding, or a safe place to learn and practice new skills.

Many people believe that the support of a good friend can substitute for therapy. While social support is important for everyone,therapy is very different from relationships with friends and family.  For one thing, therapists are highly trained professionals who’ve spent years learning and practicing how to  treat cognitive, emotional, behavioral and relationship issues.

Secondly, social relationships are reciprocal – friends go back and forth discussing each other’s issues. Also, with friends you’re more likely to censor yourself, either because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or portray yourself or others in a bad light.

And, lastly, therapy is confidential. Therapists are legally mandated secret-keepers.And finally, when you’re in therapy, you can share that same issue in a safe environment, uncensored, where the focus is entirely on you.

People seek therapy for:

Self-Exploration: Some people come to therapy to gain a deeper understanding of self. They want to know why they do what they do, why they feel what they feel and determine how much control they have over those areas.

Support in Coping: Loss is a common reason for people to seek therapy. Therapy can provide a safe, supportive place for people to talk about grief, the end of a relationship or job, abuse issues, or any change in life circumstances that cause distress.

Help alleviating anxiety, depression, anger, and confusion.

Learning new coping skills like better communication for dealing with conflict and frustration, managing emotions, or mindfulness.

Learning a process for overcoming pain, working through loss, and adding meaning to your life.

If you would like to change your life, therapy is a good way to do it. Get suggestions from friends, or do some on-line research!

Next topic –  Questions to ask a therapy-candidate before you go.

Ambivalence is about….

… a values conflict.      • Befriend your moments of confusion and ambivalence.•  Take them seriously. Give them your attention, and learn what they have to offer. By taking each nagging thought seriously and examining it for what it has to teach you, with an attitude of investigation and curiosity, we see the real, sometimes hidden value-conflict worth our attention.

contemplation

When ambivalence is viewed as a natural part of the growing process – one to learn from and investigate with curiosity rather than exasperation – the muddled mind-state that we sometimes experience can be  avoided,  and the parts of your brain that do best with planning and execution stay more in control. The same concept applies to hopeless feelings, which make it difficult to think clearly and plan effectively.

If you’ve set a goal for change, ambivalence is bound to show up. But even if you “slip” behavioraly in your resolve  to change, an attitude of investigation and curiosity will increase your odds of success in the future. One strategy proven to be helpful is to simply track what is happening. For instance, in weight loss, doing a daily “food diary” all by itself tends to correlate with people taking in fewer calories. This is at least partly due to being more mindful. And you can use an app, your phone, a calendar, or simply a piece of paper, but track daily the behavior you are targeting to see what is happening, when, and why. Assessing when you lose your resolve during the day, for instance, can help you problem solve, not just about one particular day, but by discovering any patterns that may reveal themselves. Tracking is a terrific awareness-building skill and the more awareness you have of the inconsistency of your motivations, the more conscious your decisions become, adding to a sense of control.

 

Some excerpts from:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nicole-kosanke-phd/why-befriending-your-ambi_b_5412682.html