Loving yourself unconditionally is not about merely liking yourself on the surface. Instead, it means to love and accept yourself fully, despite whatever flaws you think you may have.

But how do you get to a space of loving yourself unconditionally? Here are three steps you can take to help you get there.

Spend Quality Time With Yourself

We grow to love the people in our lives by spending quality time with them. We need to cultivate self-love in the same way – by spending some quality time with ourselves.

However, the thought of spending time alone with ourselves can make many of us feel uncomfortable.

By choosing to spend time to be alone, you create space to understand and accept yourself better. Journaling, meditating, going for walks, unplugging from your devices and taking time to relax and do nothing are all ways in which you can spend quality time with yourself.

Journaling is particularly useful. As uncomfortable as it may seem, just letting our minds flow, with pen to paper, we can create all the acknowledgment we thought we needed from another. Writing our thoughts down creates a flow that allows us to go deeper.

Challenge Your Internal Judgments Of Yourself

We may hate it when others judge us but ironically, many of us tend to judge ourselves all the time! It’s hard to cultivate self-love when our internal dialogue is a constant barrage of insults.

Try observing your internal dialogue a few times a day. It’s shocking! Try to imagine how you would talk to a child. Would you really call a child some of the names you call yourself? It may take a while, but eventually we may notice that we can offer all the compassion and love that we thought required someone else to give.

Practice Gratitude To Take Charge of Your Mind

When we let our minds run on autopilot, we tend to focus on the negatives and gravitate towards our shortcomings, losing perspective of all that is good in our lives. Try focusing your attention on what’s good in your life.

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The simple act of writing Gratitude Lists is a great way to develop a positive perspective and let go of comparing yourself with others.

Keeping a gratitude journal is about consciously choosing to dwell your attention on the good that you may not otherwise notice or acknowledge.

In fact, an overwhelming amount of research indicates that practicing gratefulness can make us happier, strengthen relationships, have a positive impact on your physical and mental health, and help in reducing stress.

It doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay, because the road to self-love is a journey, and it begins with our willingness to make a conscious effort to take the first step.