Are you “codependent”?
Have you let other people’s behavior deeply affect you? Do you feel compelled to control others?
As Melody Beatty describes in her classic book Codependency No More, you are a codependent if you recognize yourself here:
“…the obsessing, the controlling, the obsessive ‘helping’, caretaking, low self-worth bordering on self-hatred, self-repression, abundance of anger and guilt, peculiar dependency on peculiar people, attraction to and tolerance of the bizarre, other-centeredness that results in abandonment of self, communication problems, intimacy problems, and an ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process.” (p.36)
What if you could learn to accept responsibility for yourself and allow others’ to, in turn, experience responsibility for themselves? It is, after all, meant to be – we grow from experiencing our world, our environment. We find ourselves that way.
Try Mindfulness – It can help you learn to let go – to recognize what you can and cannot control.
What does “being who you are” mean?
It starts with monitoring less, being less anxious about making mistakes, and less apologetic about other people’s opinions of you.
Being Real means allowing yourself to evolve and change.
It requires being responsible for your own philosophies, opinions, and decisions, and accepting the myriad of contradictions that are part of life… Part of you.
“The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart.
To the degree that you didn’t understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you’re given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further.”
~ Pema Chödrön ~
… The lessons will keep coming until you get the message.
“…There is so much beauty in the world.
Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my life…” (from the film American Beauty)
… Ahhh! The message! :D