Knowing selfSELF KNOWLEGE

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We all need to learn to love and respect ourselves.

What does that mean? For starters it means to respect what you’re going through and have the courtesy to meet yourself with understanding.

When I learn to understand myself, I understand you, and out of that understanding comes love. If love is the missing factor, there is a lack of affection or warmth in relationships.

“Sit. Feast on your life.”

You may have heard the saying, “learning to love others begins with learning to love yourself“.

When you find an intriguing echo between seemingly disconnected aspects of your life experiences, you find a unity that begins to reveal who you really are.  If you look – with a kind, compassionate heart – you can’t help but love your story – yourself. And when you learn to love yourself, you learn to cultivate a more spacious, nonjudgmental mind. 

loveafterlove

Ideas for Finding “Self”

  1. Meditation is a sort of stopping. It’s being present in the now, and doesn’t necessarily “take time”.

Practicing mindfulness is actually living your life as if it really mattered from moment to moment. The real practice is life itself. Paying attention to your senses (such as hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting), puts you in touch with a whole different dimension than thinking.

But as soon as we put those sensations into words, however, we move from being present to thinking. That’s okay. You can flow back and forth. The feeling is hard to describe, but you will sense the difference. Write about your experience.

2. Relationship Energy – Notice that you are either moving towards or moving away – in your relationships.

This can be a moment by moment thing. Practice paying attention to each movement – away? Or towards? i.e., when I think about (something negative about you) , I am moving my energy away from you.

 3. Peaceful, Reflective State of Mind

Being in a reflective state of mind helps you keep in check what kinds of feelings you’re having. With emotions:  identify, process, and release. i.e., I’m feeling nervous (identify), because this situation reminds me of when I was picked on in junior high.. but I am NOT in junior high (process), and I can handle this (release).

4, Write Your Story

Write your story as if it’s a novel, 3rd person. Write it so your “reader” can understand the character (you!). Make it understandable.. universal. i.e., “When Jane was 4, her mother sent her to live with her “dad” – a person she had no memory of at all. It was like her mother was throwing her away…”

Take the time to acknowlege who you are!

 

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A Relaxation Exercise

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Self Help TidBits

Five-Finger Relaxation Technique

This technique is great for lessening anxiety and building confidence. It only takes a few minutes to learn, and is actually very powerful.

To begin, get in a relaxed position, close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply.

  1. Inhale, and as you exhale, touch your thumb to your index finger. Recall a time when your body felt a healthy fatigue, like how you felt sinking into a chair after a day of hiking, or just stepping out of a hot tub. Breathe deeply and try to feel the heaviness of your muscles.
  2. Next, touch your thumb to your middle finger and think of a time when you had a loving experience – when you felt a strong sense of closeness or connection with another, like a long embrace.  Feel the sensations of warmth and love moving through you.
  3. Now, touch your thumb to your ring finger and recall the nicest compliment you ever received. Listen. Take it in. You might want to imagine thanking this person… Accepting the compliment demonstrates your high regard for this person.
  4.  Finally, touch your thumb to your little finger. As you do, reflect on the most beautiful place you have ever been. Let yourself soak in the environment – the colors, light, breeze, sounds, texture and smells. Allow yourself to stay in this place for a while.

Now gently bring yourself back to where you are. Remind yourself that you can awaken this experience any time throughout your day by touching each finger, saying:

5-finger relaxation

5-finger relaxation

 

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